Money matters…

November 28, 2009

It’s more than a year since I got a job and started working.  Days go so fast, even before we realize so many days are gone without doing anything. Nothing seem to have changed since a year except that, I don’t have to depend on my parents for money.

There are typically 3 phases in my life which worried me of not having money. It was when I started going to balwadi/anganawadi. My place being a small village, shops hardly had 2, 3 varieties of chocolates, to be specific they were peppermints. My favorite was a 10 Paise peppermint which I liked only because it was red in color and every time I bought it I used it as a lipstick and then ate it. My parents refused to give me even 10 Paise claiming that money is precious and should not be wasted on peppermints. There was no concept of pocket money then.

Then I went to residential school.  Initial days were nothing less than haunting. I had sleepless nights crying, wanting to see Mom. But I was pretty rich and economically stable. I hardly spent 10 Rs per month for buying sweets. Those were the best days of my life.

Then I came to Bangalore. There were days when I hesitated to ask money from my dad. I would manage 2 months in mere(?) 500 bucks. I would not even eat something like Masala puri, which was my favorite then, let alone going out to restaurants to have food, fearing that it will reduce my account balance to 3 digit. I would sometimes avoid having lunch in college so that it will thin my pocket soon. All my friends called me Kanjoose, which inspired me to get more Kanjoose each time. I wished for engineering to get over soon so that I could spend money of my own. But little did I know about life’s irony.

I thought I can spend lavishly when I start earning. Alas I still worry about my account running out of balance, I wait impatiently for the last working day of the month. So lesson learnt from so far, “No matter how old you are and what you are doing you always fall short of money”. I don’t think even the richest of rich are also spared from money worries.

So, aish karo…..

Quarter life crisis??

November 12, 2009

I wake up in the morning, hoping it is not a morning. I hate my office. I hate my work. I hate the cubicle. I hate talking to friends. I go to office hoping that the day gets over soon. Ppl ask me “what happened?”, I hate even answering that question. I hate walks after lunch, and the talks over the lunch. Small teases become irritating. Its weird, suddenly silence has become so comforting. I am comfortable with computer all the time rather than human beings. Daily talks with my parents does not help me either, rather it drives me crazy. Even my favourite pastime Table Tennis is irksome. I hate crowd, I like to be alone. Future looks frightening. A strange feeling that life is going out of control,  a feeling that somebody else is controlling my life. Even prayers dont help. Night full of nightmares. Oh, Is there a escape? Is this what they call as Quarter life crisis?

Its true that being in twenties is something, weird, full of uncertainties.

 Have you ever felt this way??